Once I Speak Everybody Listen

Loving someone like You

I can't imagine that the time i met you would be the greatest moment of my life. I didnt expect that you would be the most important being that changed my views & outlook in life. You did it, and continue to do it as each day passed.

  Sweet days come over & over again as we spent each others time. I know, i havent done that before, i havent feel this way. You're different indeed, you're perfect.

   No man can ever refuse to love someone like you, i figured it out when you say "i love you " to me. You're willing to sacrifice for me, you're willing to give up everything for me... how i wonder if i can do the same way...I know i would, i will try.

   My Jo, thank you for being part of me.. you've done a lot. You made a lot, that's the reason why i am trying to be the best man in your life...coz i know that you are the best who touches my life. You really deserve to have the best coz you're incomparable to the rest. I love you.

InHELL - ExHELL

Guys, just wanna inform you the chemicals / substances that cigarettes contains: After you read this, let see if you still have the courage to lit a stick of it :

ARSENIC: used in rat poison

ACETIC ACID: hair dye and developer

ACETONE: main ingredient in paint and fingernail (polish) remover

AMMONIA: a typical household cleaner

BENZENE: rubber cement. Known to cause cancer.

BUTANE: lighter fluid

CADMINUM: found in batteries and artists' oil paint

CARBON MONOXIDE: car exhaust fumes

HYDRAZINE: used in jet and rocket fuels

HEXAMINE: barbecue lighter

HYDROGEN CYANIDE: poison in gas chambers

LEAD: batteries

METHANE: swamp gas

METHANOL: rocket fuel

NAPTHALENES: used in explosives, moth balls, and paint pigments

NICKLES: used in the process of electroplating

PHENOL: used in disinfectants and plastics

POLONIUM: radiation dosage, equal to 300 chest x-rays in one year

STYRENE: found in insulation material TAR: road surface tar

TULUENE: embalmers glue Imagine your lungs full of these stuffs!!!

YUCK!!! NOW! I dare you to USED CIGARRETES!!!! hehehehe

Learning how to learn

"Learning is part of our life, thats why each one of us has a room for improvement, but it depends on how long you will stay in that room, and when you came out from there, it means that you're now ready to face the challenges of life." - thats one of the learnings that i should know. Though life is full of circumstances and hatred, we must learn how to appreciate life. Life is too short, indeed, so, let's live life to the fullest :)

I am a DORK

I never had a chance to prove myself; though i try

I can even make myself convince that I am the BEST; though i am not!

Is that makes me a DORK??

I am a dork, i know...

A lot of things prove that i am

I read a lot

I write a lot

I say a little

I am a DORK

I read a book, it says:

"You should know yourself, in order for you to achieve success"

How come?

I don't even know who the heck i am.

I don't bother what other might think about me, funny thought;

Is that makes me a dork?

I am a DORK

I love to sing, but singing doesnt really love me (sigh!)

I even love to express myself through a song, that's why i can write a love songs;

through the stories that i made before, well, some people got inspire;

talk to me and you will get nothing from me (duh!)

Is that makes me a dork?

I am a DORK!

i oftenly go out for fun, to meet new people, to drink,

to shop, to unwind, mostly, to search for some one who will love me, funny doings, but i always do...>>>hahaha

is that makes me a dork?

I am a DORK!

I go to movies at least thrice a week, that's how i can release tensions from work, i even fell inlove with the characters in the movie, remember ennis, jack, stephanie or sydney etc...? they are here...>> lurking somewhere in my mind...

is that makes me a dork?

i am a DORK

my friends say that i am FICKLEMINDED, have no concrete decision, have no solid thoughts...

they also say that i am full of ideals but lack of initiative;

it hurts, thinking that i am...

is that makes me a dork??

i am proud to be ONE!

Moment with Frustrated Customer

*ring, ring*

"Thank you for calling *beep* my name is Rob and my tech ID is *beep*, can i have your name Please"

" I wanna talk to your supervisor"

"Ma'am? You want to talk to my Supervisor?"

"Yes, and i need to report this CRAP SERVICE of your COMPANY"

"Ma'am, i know this is really frustrating for you, can you tell me first what seems to be the problem so that i can tell my supervisor about that?"-tang ina mo-

"NO; i don't wanna talk to you"

-sinong nagsabi gusto kitang kausapin-

"Ma'am, before i put you on hold, can i have your name please?"

"No, i SAID, i don't wanna talk to you"

-aba, kapal ng mukha ng customer na to-namo-

"okay, ma'am, no problem, i will talk to my supervisor ,alright?, can i place you on hold maam for just about 2 minutes?" -shit! gago ka! sira...

"Go now ..."

------HOLD -----HOLD-----

*Ma'am, Thank you for patiently waiting and sorry for the long hold, Ma'am, i was able to talked to my supervisor, but actually, she's engaged on the other line talking to other customer, so would you mind, if you will wait for few more minutes? like 2-3 minutes? -mamatay ka jan kakahintay, BITCH -

" No, if you dont have an available supervisor, can i talk to the manager instead?"

-kabado na - tangna, bakit kasi ako pa ang nakasagot ng call na to-fu*k"

- try ko lang naman na i deescalate to ehh,haayy...

------------------
   This is just an example of call that i receive almost every day, but now, i can say that i can handle this kind of issue. Well, mahirap at first pero, as a call center  agent, you should know how to deescalate and even discourage the customer to talked to higher people. Actually, this scenarios just adds up to my frustration, so thats why, i WANT TO RESIGN!!!! yun lang!!! babu call  center!!!!

My Life

     I remember, i was a  kid when i tried to commit suicide. That time, my mom was having a relationship with another man (nothing wrong with that since my DAD died 10 years before), My siblings and i were totally disappointed when we learned that she was pregnant cause by that MAN.

     My eldest sister completely objected with that idea, she'd even cried and abandoned us, thinking that in that way, she could changed the decision of my MOM to LIVE with that MAN, well, my MOM was a strong woman, she didn't even bothered  knowing that my eldest sister stopped schooling and even showed how she hated that man.We, as young, never know  exactly where to go then, undeniably, that was the start of our calvary. The biggest scratches and deepest wounds started to embed in our hearts.

    From the beginning, our step father seems to be perfect. He defined the real meaning of PERFECT FATHER for us. No dull moments with him. He even made us realized that my mom's decision was the best thing she made for us, until one day, i never expect that something will change, i didn't know why, i shouldn't know the reason...

  The so - called PERFECT FATHER began to changed gradually, he began to nagged at us, he begun to beat us,he begun to act so strange, thinking that he was too good to us before, He got angry so easily, he was so moody.He even beat my Mom. I don't know exactly what to do. All i can do then was to cry, since i was only 10 years old then, As far as i want to protect my mom, myself and my younger sisters, i cant,because he was too strong, His voice made me tame, and we should behave or else, we will received a punch coming from his heavenly fists, we live desperately with fear for  a year, i begun to think to commit suicide, one time, i saw a bottle , we used to buy kerosene to cook foods, so there was still a half of the  bottle, suddenly, i gulped in a half of it, i don't know exactly what will happened next, so i tried to make my self feel comfortable. Then, suddenly, i felt so drowsy, i felt like i cant breath, i felt like i am dying, i close my eyes, and begun to loose my grip to that bottle, and i lost my sensations. I am GONE now, i thought...

  I woke up after few minutes, nothing happened to me. i tried to look in front of the mirror, nothing had changed,  why i feel so scared?

  Time passed by, after few weeks, my mom delivered a healthy baby boy, After few days of spending time with that baby, He disappeared, with my stepfather , both of them gone, and let my mom, me and my sister alone. 

    Sometimes i wonder, why should they cry. I been looking at them, It seems like there is something that made them suffer. I never felt like that. Till one day...

    I know how difficult to understand this, but, when i tried to talked to my mom to asked her why they are so mournful, it seems like she cant hear what i am saying. Nobody was talking to me. I tried to shout out loud, nobody seems to know that i am still existing, i tried to run and i accidentally bumped in a wall, my body pass through to that wall, i was puzzled, and begun to cry.

   

 

   

KAHIRAPAN

Minsan, sa paglalakad sa isang iskenita malapit sa tinutuluyan ko, napansin ko ang grupo ng mga bata na nag lalaro ng putik sa gilid ng kanal. nanlilimahid ang mga bata. napakarumi ng kani kanilang mga damit.Kinukuyom ng kanilang mga palad ang dumi habang masayang nagtatampisaw sa maruming tubig na nangagaling sa bahay bahay sa loob ng squatter area na yun. Napangiwi ako sa nakita.  Wari' y walang mga magulang na umaalaga at tumatangkilik sa mga batang iyon.

  Mabilis kong tinahak ang kanto papasok sa amin. Sa paglalakad, nahagip ng paningin ko ang grupo ng mga kalalakihan na animo' y may pinag kakaabalahan. Hindi na lingid sa kaalaman ko kung ano ang sentro nila. Ganito naman ang nangyayari sa araw araw na paglalagi ko sa lugar na iyon. Wala nmang bago. Wala namang kakaiba. Iyon at iyon pa rin.

    Habang sinasariwa ko ang mga sinaryo na nakikita ko arawaraw sa paglalakad sa kantong iyon, nabuo sa aking pag iisip ang salitang "KAHIRAPAN". Paano ba natin maiiwasan maging biktima nito? Ano ba ang maaari nating gawin upang maging malaya sa tanikala ng kahirapan? Kahirapan... hindi na ito bago. Hindi na ito kakaiba. Isa na tong karamdaman na mahirap hanapan ng sulusyon. karamdaman na unti unting kumikitil sa bawat nilalang na biktima nito. Higit pa rito, napakalawak ng  nasasakop nito, pero walang tumpak at saktong sagot na maaaring makapagsulusyun sa ganitong klaseng suliranin.

   Ilan na bang  presidente ang dumaan sa Pilipinas? ilang Opisyal na ba ng gobyerno ang naboto? at ilan taon na bang naghihirap ang bansa? Kung susuriin, napakadaling sagutin ang mga katanungang yan, ngunit, mahirap sagutin kung anong mabuting bagay ang nagawa ng mga opisyal ng gobyerno upang sulosyunan ang KAHIRAPAN. sa wari ko, walang sinuman ang nakatulong upang matugunan lamang ito. Kaya patuloy pa rin ang paghihirap  ng mga Pilipinong hanggang ngaun ay punong puno pa rin ng pag asa na darating ang araw, sila ay magkakaroon ng magandang kinabukasan sa kamay ng mga opisyal.

  Palapit na ang halalan, nagkalat na naman ang posters at leaflets ng mga tumatakbo sa gobyerno, naglipana na naman ang mga kumakanditong nagbabahay bahay upang kamayan lamang ang ordinaryong pinoy hingin lamang ang kani kanilang boto sa darating sa eleksiyon. Nakakatawang pagmasdan ang kani kanilang komersiyal na animoy mga santong nagpapakilala ng mga nagawa nila sa taumbayan. Kanya kanyang gimik mahuli lamang ang kiliti ng mga  kawawang pinoy . Kanya kanyang  banat. kanya kanyang paninira sa kapwa - opisyal, di na to bago. Normal na nangyayari sa panahon ngaun.

    Ang bawat halalan na dumarating ay pawang nagiging madugo, marumi at punong puno ng pagkukunwari, ano pa ba ang maasahan? wala na diba? wala ng magbabago. at wala ng pagbabago na magaganap. Hayaan na lang ba nating  umiral ang pagiging imoral at pagka makasarili ng karamihan?

 

 

Realization

   I could still remember my grandmother until the day she said goodbye. My mom was crying. She was the most favorite daughter of my grandmother. I know how hurtful it was for them to see my granny in a final hour of her life. Until her last breath from his weak  lungs released. If i could only gave her even an hour of my life, i would, why not, coz there was something that she wanted to say, but she  couldnt say that words since her breath was really slow and too short for her to speak louder.

    After the wake, i was terribly anew with the surroundings. It seems like this is not the house we been living in. Something is change abruptly. Maybe, it's because of the death of my granny, well, that should happened. Nobody could live in this world permanently, its just that, in the first place, she was born  in the 20's. I know it was easy for me to understand and take what happened, maybe, it's because i was too young then.

    According to my mom,since birth, she was the one who took care of us, from my eldest sister till on me, the youngest son. The only thing on my mind that keeps on reminding her was her wrinkled face, her hoarse voice,her money from a hanky, her early awake in the mornings and top of all, her STRICTNESS, i cant hardly understand why they should cry for a person who were so strict in her entire life. I remember, i was 7 in the first grade when i experienced a beat from her, i just played with my friends after class, besides it was friday, so it was okay to be late. I went back home at 7pm. I wonder why she should beat me up with just playing with my mates, was it okay to forbid me to do that? what made it bad? did she played also when she was a kid? of course she did... i cant understand her...with scratches and wounds, i run to my room and cried there, i knew she followed me  but i locked out the door. i cried out loud... who cares.

   In the morning, i awoke still wearing my uniform yesterday. I slept while crying, kinda funny but i never smile.I can barely felt the wounds in my arms that cause by the beat, i realized how she hurt me, more than just the scratches and wounds, but something has dig in into my mind, the idea that no one could ever imagine that a 7 year old like me should contain, HATRED....I HATE MY GRANNY.....I HATE HER!!!

     It was 4am. I walked downstairs to the kitchen to looked for food, since last night i wasnt able to go downstair to find food in the fridge. While lingering, i found out that someone was in the kitchen, i took a peek then i saw my granny cooking. She was just slicing something and frying. It smells good. But i decided to go back to my room. I dont wanna talk to her. She hurt me. I dont want it to happened again, i tried to sleep again but i cant, something in my stomach lurk, i was totally hungry, i run downstair, never care if she will see me there. I need something to filled into my stomach.

   She greeted me Good Morning, but i never looked at her. I never made any sound. I just pour in milk into the bowl and filled into the cereal. I am starving. I never care if she say sorry to me. i just bypassed her. I run upstair to continue to eat my food there.

   After a week, i never realized that beating up will happened again. I was from the school. I was so hungry. I just went to the kitchen to make my own food. I mixed eggs, salt, pepper and a certain powder from the sink. I fried it to make my own omelette. When she came, she tasted the food and faced to me to beat me up, again? she took her stick from somewhere out of reach, she struck my legs, a couple of times. She told me that the powder i put in was a detergent powder. How come? how would i know that? I was 7 years old then? Again, for the second time, my body contain the pain caused by that stick.

    I was totally angry with her. I almost gone to the point that i cursed the mother of my mom. I know it's against the law of God, but looked what she did to me? she made me sufferred... She hurt me...then i hate her.

    I told my self that this will never happened again. I will do necessary actions if she will beat me up again for the third time.

   Third time came, i was at the basement to look for something for my experiment in my science subject. I was looking for any chemicals, i saw a can with a skull printed over and marked X underneath it. I just pour the liquid in a portable bottle and tried to mixed it with alcohol.Well, kinda weird coz my hands was so itchy but for the sake of my grade, well, i will continue doing it. Unaware that my granny was behind me, she just took the can and read the label of it, she looked at me with raging flames with her eyes and grab my hand to death... again, she took her stick from somewhere out of reach and began to beat and hit my legs, the rest again, was history.....

   I was 9 years old. I began to feel awkward to stayed at home. I oftenly stayed to my friends after school, and every weekend i usually run to my neighbor's house to played with them. I dont wanna see my granny anymore, who cares if she cooked delighted food, who cares if she launders my clothes, who cares if she took care of me when i am sick, who cares if she stayed at home to took care of my youngest sister, me? i never care at all.... never!!!

    After a year, my granny began to be sick. She began to be in and out of the hospital. My dad came back home from Austria to take care of her. My mom file a leave for a couple of weeks, and our relatives visit her oftenly. I tried to understand why they feel so worry about her. If you tried to asked me? well, i AM NOT... coz i HATE her...

   After the wake of my granny, somebody came to our house. According to my dad, she was the legal representative of my granny who take cares of her money and properties.

   Now, i am in 20's, really young but  I own a big corporate in a business world. I never had any assets, but i owned five. i ranked as one of the best business man in the world, but i never had any experienced to any business companies. Well, because of my granny who i used to hate with, gave me her 80% of her properties and remaining 20% for her relatives including my mom. I asked, why was my granny was so good to me.... i wonder... and document said that, my Granny live in this world happily, taking care of me was the most brilliant part of her life. That despite of my rudeness due to my age, i challenged her. Despite of her age, she was able to rear me up... now i understand, flashback came, why from the first time she beat me, i saw something in her face while beating me. I undertstand that she was crying when she was beating me.... i cried... feeling guilty....

   Now, i spent at least two hours of my day to gave flowers to her remained. I am glad that somebody like her took care of me, the lazy kid from the past.

Ghost Texter

  That was Monday, i was startled when i turned on my cellphone,  two texts filled into my inbox from unknown texter. I immediately read her message, i got figured out that she is a female because she include her name at the last part of her message. It was kinda awkward to  read the message that goes like this, "I miss you a lot..hope you still remember me.Rhose"

    I begun to think who is this unfamiliar girl who texted me with endearment and sweet messages coz i am not used of receiving texts like this. It sound so ridiculous. She's funny i thought or maybe she just accidentally wrong sent her message to my number, since i have no load that time, i decided not to reply or just ignore her text. Not thinking that it will happen again, for the very second time.

     A week after, I was rushing downstair coz i was getting late to my work, since, my schedule was in the night shift, i decided to ride a cab, in order for me to arrive in the office within 30 minutes. I was kinda shaking and nervous to death not to be late since i am targetting a good attendance records for the future benefits from my work. Later inside the cab, i checked my cellphone for the possible texts that my friend sends to me... ONLY to choked me, while im reading the last part of her message "...This is the last time i will text you .Goodbye.Rhose" huh! it was kinda funny to receive a message from a woman who i never knew from the start, who bids goodbye to me unrealizing that we never met before, i got an idea to call her up since i was able to load up my cellphone that morning.

    The number that i was dialling was inactive. It means, it was not existing or it  never exist at all, since it was not ringing, how come that with just a few minutes ago somebody texted me using this number but with just a few minutes later i couldnt even contact the number? what the hell is that? i got confused....

    On the last day of that month, again, i was just about to go to the office when somebody texted me, once again, new number from unfamiliar texter... her message goes like this "...you told me you love me but you never show it. You told me you gonna give your life to me, but you refuse it... then you didn't love me...i will show you what true love means, within an hour or two.bye.rhose" Damn!!! Who are you, i thought...

    After two days, i decided to go back to the cellphone manufacturer. At first, the reason why i went there is to activate my MMS but one thing really SHOCKED me most....

    When i got there, i talked to the girl who previously help me when i was still purchasing my cellphone. She asked me if i was the guy who purchased that phone with free simcard last month, and i said, YES i am... She was shocked, she looked at me keenly, and i began to wonder, and i asked her why... only to realized that i made the craiziest damn thing in world...she told me a story....

    She told me, that the simcard that i am using was accidentally swapped with the simcard of the other guy who was there also that time. She admitted that she didnt noticed that the simcard she inserted to my new purchased phone was not the original sim that i supposed to have. It was the sim of the guy who was then repairing his phone. She told me that the girfriend of that guy commited suicide. That girlfriend has been texting her (which i received the texts since i was using the sim) boyfriend about her pregnancy and if that guy will not respond, she will commit suicide. Since, the girl is residing in Davao (she went back to davao before she found out that she is pregnant) and that guy is residing in Manila.

   The girl also told me that the guy has no other way to communicate with his girlfriend coz his simcard was lost. The Girlfriend took 50 sleeping pills and she died within two hours after she texted me.

  I cried. Feeling Guilty.

Working in a Call Center takes it all

It's been a year since i graduated college, and it seems like i am lucky enough to  land in a work where most graduate dream to be a part of. I know it is not easy to work at night, thinking that most people of this country are already in bed, dreaming and resting their mind to be ready for another tiring day that will come.

    Call Center has been one of the great provider of excellence in training people for  the latest technology in terms of Information and Communication Technology. It endures people, particularly youth (since most of the staff and agents are young) by inspiring them to be active and responsible in handling various activity in just a click of the mouse and enter of the keyboard. This requires them to stay awake at night (since american time is completely reverse to philippine time) to persuade/convince the customer for the various products that they are offering and even helping and assisting the customers in the other issues regarding  the products that customers has acquired from the company.

    Call Center Companies from US are gradually relocating to the Philippines due to the fact that Filipinos have a nearer accent of the americans compared to the nearby countries in asia. This marked the filipinos as one of the greatest race that can use  english language efficiently and effectively without flaws in grammar and almost come to the level of the natural english speaking people.

    Hence, it eventually help boosts the economic standards of the Philippines by the rapid influx of call centers establishments investing in the Philippines, and it has increasingly dominating the world of business and ventures. Therefore, thousands of them are profitting and benefitting from filipinos due to the low labor cost in the country and in return, filipinos are also enjoying the benefits and compensations that CC Companies are  providing for the employees.

    As one of  those filipinos who enjoy compensation from the call center;   i am embracing the fact that health really affects most due to the lack of sleep at night, but  actually, i am getting used of it. Moreover, one thing i learned, that i can do everything for my family even sacrificing my health in return of a good compensations and benefits from CALL CENTER.